We all have thousands of daily thoughts. Most are meaningless and fleeting and we move past them without a second thought, quite literally. But for some, these thoughts get sticky and frequent, difficult to manage and the cause of much distress.
Left unattended, intrusive thoughts can interfere with concentration and focus, making it difficult to complete tasks at work or school. This decreased productivity can then take its toll on the thinker’s mental health and lead to difficult emotions such as frustration, guilt, shame, anxiety and depression.
And it doesn’t end there. The terror of the intrusive thoughts impacts behaviour, and leads to avoidance of certain situations, places, or people. This limits activities and social interactions, negatively affecting quality of life. So what do these intrusive thoughts look like? Let’s look at some examples.
Examples of Intrusive Thoughts
Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, distressing thoughts that can take many forms, often reflecting fears or concerns that are contrary to a person’s values. For example, a person might suddenly have a thought about harming someone they love, even though they would never want to act on it.
Another common type of intrusive thought involves worrying about whether one has done something wrong, like accidentally leaving the stove on or locking the door, leading to repetitive checking. Some intrusive thoughts may center on taboo or inappropriate topics, such as disturbing sexual imagery or blasphemous thoughts, which can cause deep discomfort and guilt.
Below are some more specific examples:
- Harmful Thoughts: Imagining accidentally or intentionally hurting someone, like suddenly thinking about pushing someone in front of a train or off a high ledge, even though you have no desire to do so.
- Unwanted Sexual Thoughts: Experiencing a sudden, unwanted sexual thought about a stranger, a family member, or someone inappropriate, which causes distress because it goes against your values and beliefs.
- Fear of Contamination: Repeated thoughts about being contaminated by germs or dirt, such as constantly worrying that you’ve touched something dirty or infected, even when there is no reasonable basis for this fear.
- Religious or Blasphemous Thoughts: Experiencing unwanted thoughts or images that are contrary to your religious beliefs, such as imagining desecrating a sacred object or having irreverent thoughts about a religious figure, causing feelings of guilt or anxiety.
- Doubtful Thoughts: Constantly doubting your actions or decisions, such as repeatedly worrying that you didn’t lock the door or turn off the stove, despite knowing you’ve checked multiple times. This doubt can lead to repetitive checking behaviors and increased anxiety.
Some of these intrusive thoughts happen in obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and depression but there are differences. OCD is accompanied by compulsions or repetitive behaviours. And while depression can involve distressing thoughts, depression is a broader and more pervasive experience, characterised by a negative mood state and cognitive patterns that affect daily functioning and overall well-being.
Intrusive thoughts do NOT mirror your personality
One of the reasons people don’t tend to talk openly about their intrusive thoughts is because they fear that it might say something negative about them. They may worry that it’s the start of a serious mental disorder, or that they are a bad or dangerous person for thinking such things.
It couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, intrusive thoughts reflect the opposite about a person’s values and desires. The distress caused by these thoughts usually indicates that the person is unlikely to act on them and finds them repugnant. I make it clear to my clients that if they did wish to act on their thoughts, they would suffer no anxiety or distress about them, just a desire to carry them out.
Who gets Intrusive thoughts?
It’s important to understand that intrusive thoughts are a common experience and can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. However, certain individuals are more vulnerable to experiencing intrusive thoughts more frequently or with greater distress. This is particularly true for those with mental health conditions such as anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
People who are under high levels of stress, coping with trauma, or navigating significant life changes may also find themselves more susceptible to intrusive thoughts.
There is also evidence to suggest that genetics can play a role in susceptibility to intrusive thoughts, especially in conditions like OCD. If a family member has OCD or an anxiety disorder, there may be an increased genetic risk of experiencing intrusive thoughts.
How to know if YOU have Intrusive Thoughts?
So, how can you tell if you are experiencing intrusive thoughts? First of all, the thought will be unusual for you. For example, it might be uncharacteristically violent. Intrusive thoughts are typically unwanted and can be distressing or upsetting. They often go against your values, beliefs, or desires, which is why they cause discomfort.
Intrusive thoughts also enter your mind spontaneously, without warning. They are not something you deliberately think about or focus on. They are also hard to control and are often repetitive and won’t go away.
Managing Intrusive Thoughts in 5 steps
So how can we stop these intrusive thoughts? Well we can’t because they’re involuntary. BUT, we can diminish their power over us with some simple practices. These are outlined below in 5 steps.
STEP 1
Acknowledge that a thought is NOT a fact. This is vital in terms of stopping the thoughts taking over. So if a thought pops into your mind telling you that you might pick up the kitchen knife and stab your dog, that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen. If you one of your thoughts contains the message that you could say inappropriate things to a colleague you don’t even find attractive, that doesn’t mean it’s true. If you’re driving down a road and the thought enters your head that you could swerve off the road and hit a pedestrian, that doesn’t mean that it will.
And yet, people vulnerable to intrusive thoughts get entangled with these thoughts, and fear these things will likely happen. They become victims of their own random thoughts which are basically meaningless.
STEP 2
Stop engaging with the thought. Instead, label it as a thought and remind yourself that it isn’t a reflection of your desires or intentions. Observe your thoughts without reacting to them. Try to view them like passing clouds in the sky — acknowledge them and let them drift away.
STEP 3
Practice being in the moment with grounding techniques. Notice sights, sounds, smells, and tastes around you and the sensations your body feels. Perhaps how parts of your body are touching a chair or the ground beneath you. Practice deep breathing exercises to help calm your nervous system. Breathe in slowly through your nose, hold the breath for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat this several times to help reduce anxiety.
STEP 4
Limit Reassurance-Seeking. While it’s natural to seek reassurance from others that the content of these thoughts aren’t going to harm us or happen, doing so ultimately increases anxiety. Perhaps you’ve noticed that asking a trusted friend or family member for reassurance may help for a short while, the thoughts come back later, more frequently and with greater power.
In the same way, if you find yourself engaging in compulsive behaviors (such as checking, counting, or repeating actions) in response to the intrusive thoughts, try to gradually reduce these behaviors. Compulsions provide temporary relief but often make the thoughts stronger in the long run.
STEP 5
Challenge your thoughts. Intrusive thoughts can be fueled by irrational thought patterns that can lead to negative thinking. By identifying and challenging these distortions, you can reduce the power they have over you. So, for example, if you believe that the thought increases the likelihood of it happening, remind yourself that a thought is just a thought — it doesn’t mean you will act on it or that it reflects who you are.
Ask yourself if you’re blowing things out of proportion or expecting the worst-case scenario. If you find yourself catastrophising about your thoughts, challenge these beliefs by asking yourself what evidence you have that the thought is true and what evidence exists that contradicts it.
When to get help
Of course, all this may be easier said than done. It takes practice and persistence. If you’re struggling, then seek out professional help from a cognitive-behavioural therapist. CBT helps you identify and challenge cognitive distortions and develop healthier thinking patterns. It is a structured, goal-oriented therapy that focuses on changing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.
Be sure to check that the therapist is also familiar with Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) which is a specific type of CBT that involves gradually exposing yourself to the thoughts, situations, or objects that trigger your intrusive thoughts while preventing the usual response (such as performing a compulsion or seeking reassurance). This helps to reduce the power of the thoughts over time.
Conclusion
Intrusive thoughts can be unsettling, but they are a normal part of the human experience. It’s important to remember that the thoughts aren’t facts and that if we stop engaging with them, we can stop them from controlling our behaviour and mood.
If you find that your intrusive thoughts are significantly affecting your well-being, don’t hesitate to seek support from a mental health professional. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available.
