As a parent, it can be deeply unsettling to see your teenager upset, withdrawn, or anxious. You may find yourself wondering: Do they need therapy? The answer isn’t always straightforward.
Therapy can be life-changing for teenagers struggling with persistent difficulties. But in other cases, it may not be necessary — especially if your teen is functioning well overall and is not motivated to engage. At the same time, there are situations where professional help should be sought urgently, even if your child isn’t keen.
This guide will help you recognise when therapy could be helpful, when it may be best to wait, and how to support your child as they navigate the often challenging journey through adolescence.
The Teenage Years: A Time of Transition
Adolescence is a time of enormous change. Physically, emotionally, and socially, young people are moving from childhood dependence toward adult independence. This process often involves spending more time with friends or peers, exploring new interests, and gradually separating from parents. They’re searching for their identity — figuring out who they are, what they believe, and where they belong.
It’s also a period when young people feel an intense need to be accepted and to fit in. For some, this means trying out different styles, hobbies, or friend groups. For others, it’s a quieter, more internal process. This shift can sometimes look like mood swings, withdrawal, or a desire for privacy. These behaviours aren’t always signs that something is wrong — they can be a natural and healthy part of growing up.
A Real-Life Example
A 17-year-old boy recently came to see me because his mum believed he was having panic attacks. She had noticed moments when he would suddenly leave his room and come to find her or his dad, looking distressed and wanting company.
After talking with him and exploring his symptoms in detail, I could reassure both him and his mum that these were not panic attacks. Instead, he was experiencing occasional intrusive thoughts — fleeting, unwanted ideas that unsettled him — and he sought out his parents for reassurance when they happened.
He was otherwise living a full and balanced life: attending school regularly, going to the gym, seeing friends, and enjoying his hobbies. He was an introvert, preferring smaller social interactions to parties, and this was simply his personality — not a problem to be “fixed.”
His mum’s concern was understandable. But in his case, occasional moments of distress were part of navigating normal life. They were not signs of a mental health crisis. Building resilience — the ability to cope with uncomfortable feelings and situations — is an essential part of adolescence. Sometimes, the best thing parents can do is to listen, offer reassurance, and allow their child space to develop the skills to manage difficulties on their own.
When Therapy is Needed and What It Involves
While many teenage challenges are a normal part of growing up, there are times when professional help is essential — even if your child doesn’t feel ready or willing. These include situations where there is self-harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, extreme withdrawal from daily life, or substance misuse. Early intervention can be life-saving and can prevent difficulties from becoming more entrenched.
When therapy is needed, it provides a safe and confidential space for your child to talk about what’s troubling them. It’s not about “fixing” them, but rather helping them to understand their thoughts and emotions, build coping skills, and find practical ways forward. Through this process, therapy can:
– Help them manage difficult emotions like anxiety, sadness, or anger
– Strengthen problem-solving abilities and decision-making skills
– Support the development of self-esteem and confidence
– Improve relationships and communication with peers, family, and others
Even if your child is resistant at first, a skilled therapist can work gently to build trust and help them engage in the process.
Living Alongside Your Teenager
Parenting a teenager is about balance. You need to stay close enough to provide support while giving them the freedom to grow. That means respecting their privacy, showing interest in their lives without taking over, and being available when they want to talk.
Listening without judgement is one of the most powerful tools you have. It’s not always about having the answers — sometimes it’s simply about sitting alongside them, showing empathy, and trusting that they can work things out.
Avoid constant questioning, overreacting to every change in mood, or comparing them to other young people. Adolescence is about finding their own identity — and your acceptance is a key part of helping them feel secure in who they are.
The Role of Technology
Parents often worry about screen time, gaming, or social media use. While limits and balance are important, it’s also worth recognising that technology can sometimes be a coping tool for teenagers.
Adolescence can be an overwhelming period of mentalisation — the process of making sense of oneself and others. Distraction, such as playing computer games, can offer a mental break from the intensity of this process. This doesn’t mean it should replace healthy offline connections, but it does mean it shouldn’t automatically be judged as “bad” behaviour. Understanding the reasons behind their choices can open the door to better communication and trust.
Final Thoughts
It’s natural to want to protect your child from discomfort, but not every moment of distress needs to be fixed. Struggles — and the process of working through them — are part of building resilience.
If you’re unsure about whether therapy is the right step, you can always arrange a parent consultation with a therapist to talk through your concerns. In some cases, therapy can make a life-changing difference. In others, the most valuable thing you can give your teenager is your steady presence, your understanding, and your belief in their ability to face life’s challenges.
